Hey whoever that's reading.
It has been awhile since i last updated.
Honestly I didn't want to blog today because I was too lazy but what happened just now really makes me want to rant somewhere.
Many of my close friends would know how my family's like and what I've been through these years.
All these family problems costed me my O level results and i think most probably my A level results too though I really hope not.
I know it sounds like an excuse for my bad results but these problems really affects me a lot.
Last time I always tell myself, " It's okay. It will be better in the future when I grow older and more mature, then I'll be able to help my family more"
BUT NOOO...IT JUST GETS WORSE...WHY?
Because my freaking older brother who is freaking 4 years older than me and so much stronger/heavier than me still thinks like a little boy who just came out of the womb. Just respect your parents and listen to them lah very difficult is it? Buttock itchy need someone to kick and yank your hair out is it? Come I will do the honours. Like seriously, all these went through my mind when this boy just speaks like he is the parents of my parents and being disrespectful and thinks that being big-sized and loud wins.
I know if he sees this, he'll probably crash my computer and destroy all my stuff in my room while I'm at work but I'm speaking in a younger sister's prospective.
All I can say is, whatever 'punishment' he got today, he deserves a few times worse and more because he needs to learn.
What's so good about having a gf when you treat your family like this?
Your gf seriously blind. I don't how you are like in front of her, you may be the OMG NICEST GUY EVER but whotheheckcares.
You should be mature enough to think at this age.
Who supported you since day 1?
Who gave you food shelter and clothes?
Who gave you the convenience of being able to drive out to date your gf while the rest of us have to take public transport?
Who listens to your crap and still supports you even though you treated us like nothing?
Who looked up to you and thought you were an awesome brother?
Who gets insulted by you and had to bear with the pain of being regarded as useless by their family member?
Who bears your kicks and chokeslam in the past?
I'm not saying that you are bad all the time but seriously your negative side is worse than any girl's PMS.

There are so many 'whos...?' but which one does he actually knows?
NONE I BELIEVE.

First of all,
Parents are most of the time the starter of all these family problems.
Never Spoil Your Child
OH you may say...But my child needs to get all the love and care that he/she needs...
BLAH BLAH YES YES I KNOW but please differentiate necessities and overprotective.
Protecting your child from good stress, giving them things that they don't need etc are the perfect ingredient to make someone like my bro.

I know i shouldnt be saying bad stuff about my bro here but I really cnt take it anymore.
I wish someone would just talk some sense into him because he doesn't listen to us at all.
What ever i told him, he just thinks that I'm saying I'm the best in the family and I should be respected and treated like royalty and he should bow down to me and I won him in dota and gets everyone's attention...
He just won't think that I'm trying to help our family to get better by telling him my opinion and how i feel when I see my family's falling apart.

I may look happy all the time but I just don't wish to keep such terrible and sad thing floating in front of me and cause me to spread the anger/sadness and all negative emotions to my colleagues/friends that i see. I really wish I can speak to someone who can help me to solve the problem and make me a happier person for real.

I know I may not be the only one facing such family issues and my family members are probably experiencing the same emotions as me right now but there's really nothing I can do if everyone don't want to stop thinking about what others did to them, how hurt they are...think about how to solve the problem and not make everything worse.

Pisces are famous for running away when they meet trouble, but I can't, not because I don't want but I'm stuck right there.

I can't just leave the house and camp at my friend's...I dont know what my house will look like when I'm back.
I don't want anyone to get hurt.
I don't want to know that in the end there's only me who knows how stupid all these are and we could have solve it.
I don't want to feel like I'm the only one left here. The feeling you get when everyone's asleep except you, in the dark.

Friends may seemed to be the people you can turn to but ultimately they can't solve the problem for you.
It's all back to square one.
Instead, you wll became a topic that your friends gossip about behind your back, making them feel more fortunate. But at least they would treasure their family more.

Nobody wants to let go, or just lose for once in the argument so that we can end this and live happily ever after.

表现出坚强与自大的样子，让人难以琢磨心里真正在想什么，这些人其实是最脆弱，最容易被击倒的。但是，能击败他们又能得到什么？最后还是自己受伤，甚至家破人亡。到头来，好处没得到，却要收拾烂摊子，把自己原本可以拥有的温馨与关怀都给白白烧掉毁掉。这就是自私和好胜的代价。

Initially I wanted to post something that is more fun and happy but sigh my mood is totally ruined and the war is not yet over.
Probably have to stay up today to settle the problem and be a shield to prevent more scars.
Life is unfair irony. You get what others don't have and lack what others have but you can't choose.


BIG SIGH, if you have an elder bro like me and you get this shit at home as well,
I FEEL YOU and please do something to help him if you have a heart.
That's all I can expose about my family and I feel bad and embarrassed enough to tell people my family issues here but hope this can make someone feel more fortunate and spend more time with your family.

Have an awesome weekends guys. (Off to war)